Uendi Quinn Hostilia
My undying affection for
I: THE SEED
In the Spring of 2003, the Seed began to sprout. All Flowers of Antinous are born with the Seed. It begins to grow the first moment they see the Bithynian. Some say divine intervention, others say mere coincidence ... and yet there are a few who leave the mystery open-ended.
Antinous appealed to me on many levels. His beauty alone remains one of the greatest compositions of the Universe. Each curl aligned in harmony, like a note played to perfection. I could not look away.
After my first encounter with Antinous, I purchased Memoirs of Hadrian and began to investigate his tragic death.
His death, along with his beauty, held a strong grip on my mind. It was these two ingredients, combined like the deadliest of alchemy, which compelled me to travel further down the road of higher consciousness.
A small shrine began to unfold, still fragile from the freshly tilled soil. I started to set aside time for the Beloved, or more specifically I created my own calendar of Antinous holidays (which I and I alone) celebrated. I slowly began to understand that this road I had taken was a mysterious one. I knew there were others online, and in the coming months I would officially join the Ecclesia Antinoi.
I was knee-deep in Antinous from the start. Being a scholar at the time, I locked myself away in the University's basement. I studied Antinous in old textbooks from the 1900s, one of which had the crushed shell of a rotten bug on the back cover. I named the bug Mr. Bogart. We had plenty of good times together.
While in the midst of research, I located a small black box decorated with Mexican skulls... a Pandora's Box of some kind. I opened it and out popped a gay man dressed in black wearing a fedora and flower lapel. He told me his name was Antonyus Subia. A magical velvet curtain soon appeared behind him.. When we walked through the curtain I was transported into his apartment closet (a.k.a. 'The Art Studio" or "Crazy Room"). A whole new world of Antinous things appeared before my eyes.
The following years were marked foremost by the intensity of worship. Antinous was no longer a mere preoccupation, but a center to which one lives and breathes. After reading Beloved and God, something changed inside of me. The Seed had bloomed, and in consequence would produce a ravenous ripple in time. Antinous had, metaphorically and physically, completely seduced me.
A strange intertwined chime of organ pipes exploded inside my cells. It was the realization of something holy and sacred. I began to create my own website. I wanted to do something for Antinous; anything.
I wanted to share it with the world. I didn't care what the outcome what be. I knew it had to be done.
During this time as well, I began to understand that Antinous was a silent god. He would not simply answer my prayers. I accepted this reality too, because I knew it was The Truth. Antinous doesn't dabble in fantasy. Antinous lived, died and was defied as a god.
III: THE CALLING
I was called to Los Angeles by Antonius Nikias Subia, Priest of Antinous. I knew that in order for the new religion to grow, I had to leave everything behind. I had to do something I never conceived of.
There was no stopping me ... despite all fears and unforeseen circumstances. I'd do anything for Antinous, and I knew I had to move to the center of his new Holy Land, right here in Hollywood. I knew he needed an army, and I was one of the chosen soldiers to fight for his cause. Nothing else in my life mattered more.
I began to burn the frankincense for Antinous, just as Mr. Subia did. I studied under his wing for a year and was officially consecrated in November 2007. I am the first woman in history to become a Priest of Antinous.
Becoming a Priest of Antinous was the most important event of my life. It signified the culmination of everything past, the importance of everything present, and the relevance of everything future.
As Priest, I hereby attain to the Charter of the Hollywood Temple of Antinous. I will strive to educate others about Antinous, and spread his glorious name and image without hesitation or discord. I will promote the sacred bond of homosexual love, of which I hold most dear. I will never use his name in vain. I will never abandon Antinous.
Most importantly, I shall dedicate the rest of my living years to our Beloved ... spiritually, emotionally and artistically. For there is no higher cause.
I love Antinous. He is the brother who walks besides me, the knight from the distant land and the holiest god of the stars.
He is an Easter basket filled with contradictions ... chocolate Cadbury eggs and plastic dinosaurs. Lovingly placed into my hands not by a giant fuzzy rabbit, but by a mystery.
He is the manifestation of divinity in human form. The most perfect cupcake.
Uendi Quinn Hostilia Marcella,
Priest of The New Religion of Antinous